Various Sneaky Ways Pedophiles Groom Children - A Must Read for Parents and Grandparents
It's an unpleasant topic, however, you need to become informed and aware of the various tactics that pedophiles use to sneak their way into the lives of our kids. The pedophile first becomes a 'friend'. The manipulations are varied and well thought out. Learn more now to protect your kids.
The statistics are terrifying. One in five of girls and one in ten of boys will be sexually abused.
Of course, you know the monsters in your kids lives are not under their beds or hiding in their closets. But, the monsters do exist. They are in your homes, schools, churches, teams, or on your kids' Instagram. It could be happening right under your nose.
The following is an overview from this site where multiple studies are compiled.
It Starts With Emotional Abuse and Manipulation
Child molesters don't just groom the children, sometimes they are also grooming the parents, or protectors, of the children.
Definition of Grooming
Grooming is a way for the molester to gain trust, in both the child and the parent. It's clearly a form of manipulation wherein the molester has the child under so much mental control, the child feels like a partaker rather than a victim. In other words, the child is coerced into believing he or she is a co-conspirator. The pedophile creates an 'us versus them' mentality, creating fear so that he or she should not speak out, in fear of retaliation.
Read these shocking quotes by convicted pedophiles to see what they look for and how they operate.
Quotes from Convicted Pedophiles
“Parents are so naive—they’re worried about strangers and should be worried about their brother-in-law. They just don’t realize how devious we can be. I used to abuse children in the same room with their parents and they couldn’t see it or didn’t seem to know it was happening.”
It not necessarily strangers that are targeting your children. It is often relatives, and many times, they are not of age themselves.
“I was disabled and spent months grooming the parents, so they would tell their children to take me out and help me. No one thought that disabled people could be abusers."
Manipulative people who use your own feels of sympathy toward them can target your kids.
“Parents are partly to blame if they don’t tell their children about [sexual matters]—I used it to my advantage by teaching the child myself."
Teach your children about sex early on and what it means to be inappropriately touched by anyone!
“Parents shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about things like this—it’s harder to abuse or trick a child who knows what you’re up to.”
Get over any embarrassment you may have about talking about sex. Your kids need you.
“Everybody liked me and people were comfortable with my interactions with kids.”
They will invest time trying to gain trust.
“I treated them like they were adults.”
“I acted like a big kid.”
“I complimented them and bought them things.” “I stuck up for them and helped them with their chores.”
“I never disciplined them.”
“I paid lots of attention to them and gave them lots of
“Kids liked me and adults thought I was good with kids.”
Traits of Predators - What to Look For
Making Themselves Equals With Your Kids
Is there someone taking an interest in your child? Remember, not necessarily adults, but sometimes teens or older kids can molest kids too. Sometimes, it's even females. In any case, pedophiles will make the child victim feel special and will study the child to get to know his or her likes to make the child feel they are in a friendship.
For example, when the child may like a certain chocolate bar or band, the pedophile will agree and try to bring the child the chocolate bar or play the music from the favorite band.
The pedophile will try to get the kids to talk to them on an equal level, as if the parents are the strict ones. The pedophile will make the child feel like he or she is the trusted one, with whom the child can share secrets and insecurities. For example, the pedophile might say "Yes, I understand, although I'm sure your parents wouldn't".
Pedophiles will try to initiate activities to get your child alone with him, once they feel there is enough trust with the parents or caregivers has been established. An adult who invites a child to sleep over at his or her house may be completely innocent, however it is cause for concern and questions.
Pedophiles might even touch the child in front of the caregiver trying to give the impression to your kids that all touch is okay. For instance, the pedophile might hug the child in front of you, or may accidentally bump the child or touch their hair. Never force your child to hug or show physical attention to anyone and teach them that any touching should be questioned.
Luring Older Children
To lure older children or teenagers, the pedophile may offer to buy drugs or alcohol, waiting for the right opportunity to ask for something in return.
The Use Of Pornography
Pay attention to children who are talking about sexual things as he or she may have been introduced to it by the pedophile, who tells dirty jokes, shows them pornography or plays sexual games. Toddlers or children who touch themselves sexually to try to touch others is a concern that should be looked into.
To lower inhibitions, and to begin sharing secrets, pedophiles often use pornography. If your kids are old enough to have emails, monitor what they are getting and who they are getting it from. Explain to your kids what pornography is, why it is wrong to look at, and that he or she should inform you of anyone trying to show it to them.
How To Prevent a Pedophile From Targeting Your Kids
Be aware of the harsh reality - there are evil people who will want to do harm to your children.
It's not paranoia. Unfortunately, it is the day and age we live in. Get informed and stay informed. It's easy to go into denial but that is the wrong thing to do. Get informed and stay informed. Read articles and studies again, as refreshers, when you need to.
Talk To Your Kids
Don't just teach them about touching and anatomy and sex. Teach them that there are people who are manipulative and how they will pretend to be our friends, when they actually want something else. Teach them that sometimes people who seem good are actually bad.
Let your kids know that they can always come to you with concerns and that no secrets should exist with outside adults, teens or older children.
Screen caregivers and babysitters very carefully.
Watch your kids Internet and phone activities.
Be aware that some pedophiles purposely choose a profession, like the priesthood, or position, like a coach, for purpose of getting closer to kids that they can manipulate and take advantage of. Be aware of who they are an exactly how they are interacting with your kids
As the parent of a child, visit their schools or lessons or babysitters unannounced and ask question.
Please share your thoughts and experiences.