Shocked! Dr. Phil and the Woman who Hates her Autistic Child

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"I am a bad mother. I'm a failure. I've failed at being a mother." These are the words of one particular mother who appeared on the Dr. Phil show because she hates her autistic daughter and hates that she hates her. Confusing, no? I would say so. Though the bit of compassion I felt when she said those words were quickly quashed when I saw footage of her treatment of her 14 year old daughter who she says acts like an 8 year old and is on a 3rd or 4th grade level.

The problem? We see a woman who cannot stand her child because she doesn't understand her. Not only does she not understand her own flesh and blood, but finds her annoying and infuriating, particularly when, instead of acting like a normal 14 year old, the child keeps asking the same questions, seemingly unable to understand simple requests. I'm sure many parents feel thus when faced with lower functioning autistic children. Though some children eventually find a way to break out of their shells and tell their stories to the world. Carly's story is sure to touch many a heart and give hope to all those caregivers who forget that a book should not be judged by its cover.

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Why would anyone hate their child? I don't think anyone can really answer that as the psychology of a human being is complex. There are too many layers to uncover. One thing is certain, though. She must have experienced something terrible in her childhood. Perhaps she herself was unloved. Throughout the show, Karen (the mother) expresses the horrors of her own childhood, her own abuse, and seeing her mother stab her father at the age of four. Coming from a family of alcoholics and abusive parents, it is no wonder she feels that she doesn't deserve to have an autistic child. We all want to have things get easier over time. We all believe that we deserve some semblance of happiness. The truth is that we do. Though sometimes that happiness could be packaged in a manner that we do not understand or accept.

The legacy goes on....

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