What To Say To This Mom Whose First Mother's Day Went Terribly Wrong
Today I read this venting from a young mom whose first Mother's Day has gone terribly wrong according to her. What do you say? I would say that do not judge him on just one day - maybe it was never a big deal in his house growing up. But the relationship needs work and better communication.
So she writes.
Yesturday was my First Mothers day. It was terrible. My partner made me feel like I am not deserving of a special day.
We woke up and he left the house to wash the car then came home after 2 hours. I thought he had gone out to get me a present, but came home empty handed. I didn't say anything. Then he said he was making pancakes and did I want some.
One o'clock came along and I asked him if he had planned anything for the day. He asked what do u want to do?
I was heart broken already. I felt unappreciated unloved and it really hurt me. Its not meant to be about him. He should have done it for our 8 month old daughter and her mummy.
He just thinks because he goes out there and works and I am a stay at home mummy to our daughter that everyday is mother's day because I am at home. This kills me.
Here I am trying to do my best pretty much raising our daughter alone as he is out working 7 days a week most days. I cook, I clean, I wash his clothes. I make his lunch everyday. I take care of our daughter. I advertise his business. Yet, I still should be grateful as hes the one working.
I asked him if this was the reason and he did not reply. He had no reason, no excuse, no nothing for making my very first Mothers Day a day I'd like to forget.
I just feel sorry for my daughter and gor myself for that matter. All my family asked me how my day was and i just lied to not start the ball rolling.
What can be done in this situation in this family? First, I feel very sorry that their family had to go through this. But it seems like this is not only about Mother's Day. She feel unappreciated according to her writing. On the other hand, I noticed that she called him a partner, not a husband. So let's fix this first and decide if he is your husband or no. What is a partner in a family? Also, do things the prevent the relationship from becoming toxic and increase the love and care toward one another, as well as patience. For example, write down on a piece of paper some things that are very important to you that you want out of relationship and also what you can offer him, if you don't tick each other's boxes you won't be able to continue your relationship and it'll become toxic and bad for the three of you.
Also look at the values that guide your relationship and bring God into your family and your heart.