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Men Would Rather Play Video Games Than Have Sex

Armen Hareyan's picture
Man plays video game

If you have ever felt you have to compete with your husband’s Wii for attention, you’re not alone. A recent study shows that one in three men would rather play video games than have sex with their partner. The study, reported in the U.K. newspaper The Sun, was conducted by the Specialist PlayStation3 site PS3pricecompare.co.uk and surveyed 1,130 British men.


According to Genie James, M.M.Sc, Executive Director of the Natural Hormone Institute, hormonal imbalance and stress may be to blame for the study’s startling results. “It is very likely that these men are suffering from a hormone imbalance at a cellular level that causes them to lose interest in sex,” says James.

James’ upcoming new book, “In the Mood Again,” (Simon & Schuster, January 2010), will explain how natural hormone balancing, diet and lifestyle changes can help adults of both sexes regain lost libido. She also explores the causes of low libido. For example, when testosterone levels begin to decline in a man’s 30’s and 40’s, libido – or sex drive – is compromised at a cellular level. Other symptoms of declining testosterone levels are fatigue, lethargy and weight gain. “That is why many men come home, plop down on the sofa and pick up the remote or engage in video games. They just don’t feel up to doing much else,” says James.

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Lack of interest in sex is even starting to affect young men in their 20s. “Typically, young men in their teens and 20’s are sexually rambunctious but – in the last several decades – young men living in industrialized nations like America have shown reduced sperm count and quantity of ejaculate. Both of these evidence an early decline in testosterone levels,” she says. Medical scientists attribute this dismaying trend to the high levels of foreign hormones, called xenohormones, that are found in many of our foods, including meat and milk, as well as in common inhalants such as fumicides and pesticides.

So, what’s a guy to do? First and foremost, exercise. “Exercise naturally boosts lagging testosterone levels,” says James. “Also, clean up your diet. Go organic when possible to decrease exposure to xenohormones. Give up the nachos and beer while sitting on the sofa. Remember that all those pounds packed around your middle are literally decreasing your ‘manliness’."

Men who are experiencing low libido and sexual performance issues may also want to consider natural, or bio-identical, testosterone replacement. Bio-identical testosterone is safe but you will need to find a doctor who can prescribe it and monitor your levels. Other natural testosterone-boosting options are herbal approaches that have been successful in many cultures for centuries, such as Peruvian gingseng or nettle root. For improved erectile performance, clinical studies have found L-arginine, horny goat weed and yohimbe to be effective.

“To get ‘in the mood again,’ all you need is a pair of sneakers and a trip to the health food aisle of your grocery store,” says James. “The results will be less time in front of the TV and more time enjoying another form of entertainment.”



My husband is exactly like this. I can make the most blatant attempts imaginable to engage him, and he blows me off like I'm not even there. It's not only frustrating, but it makes me feel very unattractive. It also makes it hard for me to be interested when he is "in the mood" because I'm so angry with him for ignoring me. It's sad, because he's only 25 and you would think these problems didn't start happening until later in life. In fact, his own DAD thinks he's crazy because he's in his mid-fifties and still interested in his wife. I really don't know what to do, but it does eventually make a marriage suffer when the man is completely uninterested.
My ex-husband traded our happy sex life to build castles and collect magic tokens in a terribly addicting game called kingdoms of camelot.... needless to say we r no longer together thank god! What i learned from this horrific experience is that there are all forms of addictions, this one is the one that targets the weakest and the most vulnerable, if your man is strong and confident and has his family's best intentions in mind, he wouldnt be hiding in a make-belief world in the first place. Cut your losses and find someone new, no gamer is worth waiting around for! I joined a support group when it happened and they explained to me that once your man gets so drawn in that h doesnt care about his sex life anymore, its a done deal, you cant steer him in the right direction, only he can snap himself out of it, all you can do is remo.ve yoursel from his disfunctional lifestyle.
Maybe it was your illiteracy that drove him away.
Really enlightening comment. And I suppose your sarcasm wins you all the friends? She made a couple typos... Didn't realize the grammar nazi would rear its ugly head. Obsessive much?
Since you are the lead article you have to be asking yourself why would an attractive young woman have problems with her own husband. Obviously it's your problem for choosing the way you chose. Bad choices welcome
Well said.
I realize I'm several years late to the party, but your comment struck a chord. My husband (also in his 20's) behaves almost exactly like yours. Recently, he promised us a romantic weekend together; he spent most of it playing video games. It's hard for me to confront him about this, because he has work stress and deserves a chance to relax, but why can't love-making be part of that relaxation? I can relate to what you said about being too young for this problem. We have sex so rarely that I feel like we're in our 70's, not our 20's! If it's this bad now, I shudder to think what our love life will be like when we're old. The sad thing is, like you, I watch his parents together and they can't keep their hands off each other. Wish my husband felt the same way about me. What can we do, stay around and wait for it to get better, or leave them to their fantasy worlds? It's been nearly three years since your post, so I hope you were able to find a solution.
Well my husband is currently playing. Its his usual Friday - Saturday night ritual until 3am or so. By Sunday night he is so tired. falls asleep by 8:30. he does not play during the week but we both work and have two children. I have told myself its better he is home then out every weekend. but it is also lonely. I have spoken to him about this and things change for a week then back to normal. I wonder if he is connecting with someone at work. she spends more time with him than i do. i guess Im lonely and want to feel special... at least sometimes.
I have a theory and maybe I'll have a few seconds to read it. My daughter is 31 years old and she'd spent a good part of her life playing video games or rather being addicted I would say. Since we are just beginning to understand mechanics physiology and psychology of addiction we are led to believe that an individual like this is doomed. I don't believe that to be the case. I won't shame you by saying that it's your fault but you have to ask yourself the question do you think that you are attractive? That should be one thing to be concerned about the other should be how do you treat this person. I had exactly the opposite with my ex-wife in our twenties so I don't have experience the same way you do. I can tell you that my ex-wife was uninterested because she didn't care for me and married me only because I was the best option. This is something that I had to come to realize over a period of time. If you got married to somebody just because of sex well there's your answer. Men in their twenties are definitely interested in sex and if they're not interested in sex with you well I'll let you draw your own conclusion. Men are increasingly going their own way because they don't see any advantage in being married having children we're pursuing any kind of a stupid mainstream career. Why would any man want to restrict himself with the shaming and rules that a woman will certainly impose on him. So far all I read is a bunch of victims screaming about how they've been taken advantage of by video gamers. You are a bunch of whining crybabies. You make a mistake and blame video games. Men who play videogames are interested in video games got that just because you want to interrupt with some sex doesn't mean you're going to get it. Stomp your feet Cinderella you just going to find another guy the same. Maybe it's you. DS
This is a wonderfully funny comment!
maybe he needs to take advice from his dad. sounds like the dad has his feet better on the ground. but what can we expect? the way the world has made things,men are always going to be up in the clouds. yes,we might nag too much,but I'm sure if we were listened to it would be different. if you find a man willing to listen,has real life hobbies,real communication,well then he's probably down to earth and can teach these boys we decided to marry a bit more. I know if we sent them back to their mothers they'd be lost. id never let a mans actions decide if I'm attractive or not. also if you have kids think of them. because they need a father not a 15 year old boy. what examples can a gamer show his daughter? she'll want to go find a gamer like him. pitiful. sad. very sad what our world is coming to.
Well maybe it's just you? It seems as if women aren't able to take the same rejection as men do. Or at least it seems that's the women in this chat can't. Maybe he doesn't want to have sex because he doesn't want to have sex. Just because he's in his 20's doesn't mean he's a horn dog, stop stereotyping. Double standards are shit and this is one of them. A man doesn't want to have sex and you call in doctors because he has "low testosterone" or "erectile dysfunction" if a women doesn't want to have sex "men are always so horny" "they never appreciate anything but your body" grow up and act like an adult. He doesn't wanna have sex because he doesn't want to. There's no medical problems he just would rather play a video game because it provides way more stimulation. Thas all I gotta say, just stop bitching and moaning, men get turned down for sex all the time and they're just fine. Women need to learn to deal with that shit too
As a psychological professional. My advice. Look to yourself. work out, go for walks, put yourself first. Often mens waining libido is caused by lack of interest, nagging, partners, and lessened sexual appeal. Think about it. If your with a person for a lengthy period of time and no e is trying to keep it fresh and themselves looking good for the partner. Men are going to get bored.
Wow, what kinda world do we live in nowadays? I'm a bloke who played a lot until i met my gf, now i hardly touch the console, only on the odd occasion when my gf decides to invite her friends around but thats a different story all together, im 23 and still young so its surprises me to hear this news, to all the ladies that have been left for a game, im sorry and i hope that you fin the one to make you beautiful again because all women are beutiful and deserve to feel that way
Wait until you get older. Women will nag, bitch, moan, critize and try to piss you off. Don't even take shit from a woman best thing to do is leave and ignore her.
This is so nice. I wish my boyfriend would be the same. He thought he found a co-player gf (me). I used to play with him even when I wasn't in the mood for the games. Then I stopped doing this because he never has sex with me while he's not in the mood - currently 1-2 times per month. Yay. :D I guess I'm not a hot super model, but neither is he and when I ask him if the reason us not having sex more often is my body etc. he always says no. I'm stopping to believe that, I guess he just doesn't like my body but he's afraid to tell me every time I ask. Usually he comes home from.work, sits down in front of the computer and gets up later in the evening to go to sleep. During his free days he sits there the whole day (except meals and smokes). I don't know what to do, I want to try to make this work. I don't want to give it up just yet. I thought he would change after we've moved in together, but it got maybe a bit worse (though he promised that the sex would take place more often...ha ha). I don't want to sound like a whining little girl but it really breaks my heart, to see other couples having their sex life according their needs and secretly wish that for us too.
The world is what we make of it, but then we feel bad when the video game companies go out of business because of how that affects the economy and number of employed people. In short, Matt, it's not as simple explanation. Sex is nature's form of entertainment. Why not revere nature, safely and with being mindful of one another so nobody spreads disease though the hippies proved it's better to have indiscriminate sex than to be mindful of one another while spouting gibber about peace)? Especially as some people have lower libidos.
I'm having a scary wake up call too. I moved to another country for the boyfriend I loved so much. We were separate so we could only Skype once a day but our conversations were engaging, and rich. Now that I'm here, I realize all he wants in his down time is to play video games -- something I didn't quite know until I got here. Last night he wanted a backrub and I was more than happy to oblige but I said if you come to bed soon I will otherwise I'll be too tired. He was on his game and never showed up. His loss. I can't believe all I've done for him: Left my friends, my home, my cat, my family, my JOB, only to feel like a room mate. It's almost like our life was better when we could only Skype. I know he would rather play the games than have sex with me, but it is so hard to bring it up, because every time I do he gets irritable and thinks I want to be with him ALL the time. But the truth is, if he was even a little playful in the morning or at night for like a half hour, I would be more than happy to let him to his games. I've also read about how diet and exercise can improve a guy's labito, but he only eats meat, dairy and sits in front of the game. When he argued to me that men are more aggressive and that's why they need to play violent video games, I'm sure the gladiators of the past would laugh all too hard. I'm more aggressive for crying out loud! I dance a concerts. Hard. I like punkrock. I have girlfriends in the roller derby even. I say we women are more aggressive than a man who sits in front of a fantasy world. I have to understand we do have stress right now. I'm trying to find a job and he's quitting smoking with a no-nicotine E-cig, but sometimes I'm asking myself, "Why did I move here? What did he want me here for?"
You should think about the kind of language that you use. If you are trying to shame him into having sex that is the reason that he won't have sex with you then do not respond to shaming tactics saying that you are more aggressive than him is akin to him being a pussy then I guess that's what you wanted. You don't really bother to get to know somebody and then you blame them. This is what's wrong with girls today you think you are entitled and you are not entitled to anything earn it like a man has to and not on your back either.
My husband is becoming a gaming addict too.. he has no interest in me or sex or even kissing.. he doesn't even likes my touch after playing game for hours.. i dont know how to bring him out of this addiction. When he is told that he is addicted he brushes off the discussion and is not ready to improve.. this is destroying our 1 year old marriage. I dont know what to do.
MGTOW'd! Your man has obviously gone his own way, no room for you. Young man absolutely have no Outlet for their aggressiveness except for video games or armed services combat. You don't seem to understand that you real men don't want to be girls or your pet cat. You women wanted feminism and feminism will bring an entire generation of introverted men who live in video reality. You wanted feminism you got it. Wake the heck up.
Ha ha ha..! The tables are turning..! It's actually degrading being branded a sex addict/fiend just because your a male - even in jest... hopefully gaming infiltrates our society and seduces the majority of our young male population. The use of sex by women as a weapon of mass emotional manipulation, may just be losing it power. Unwanted pregnancies, crippling child support issues and STD's, among other issues, will be a thing of the past. If women keep using photoshop, Facebook and other social media to enhance and explicitly display their wares, our younglings will hopefully grow completely desensitised. Embrace gaming, it could be the key to our freedom. The positives are endless. Are woman sexy..? who really cares..?!
Okay. I need help. My husband and I have been together since we were 15. We are 22 and have been married for a year and a half now. Live in Florida and he is military now. Since we moved to our first base my husband plays DESTINY constantly and I mean right after work. Doesn't do anything around the house and when I get home he's still in uniform playing the game while I have to cook and clean or ask him to dog is part now that I'm home ( frustrating ) He plays everyday. For several hours 4+ Recently wen on vacation to see family fort so weeks. The last week of vacation he logge don to heir computer and started playing his old childhood game RUNESCAPE the last 5 days of our vacation he was on the game ALL DAY. Literally. We are back home for 3 days and he's been playing runescape from the time he rolls over and wakes up until I beg him to take a break or until 3, 4 in the morning. I'm seriously ready to give up. I getting unattracted to him. He doesn't work out . He's not romantic at all we barely have sex anyone unless I initiate it. He's not cheating for sure.. But I'm ready to just let go and let him see he's losing me.
I am just so glad to hear all you young women complaining that you're not getting enough sex. You will see that an older man with more experience money power except there is so much more enticing about that. Welcome to the wall because I can only assume that's why your man isn't interested
I'm still wondering if there are any good men left that do NOT play video games. I'm starting to think they are an extremely rare phenomena. Lonely, I am so sorry to hear this went unnoticed or hadn't been a problem before you got married. I moved to Europe for my guy and we are set to be married next month, despite I had left a rant here. It was in the heat of my anger that I wrote, but since then he gave the games a huge break. Like for several months. It's come up again recently now before our marriage but our relationship is much more open and honest and communicative than it had been back then. There is no relationship when one person shouts defensively and the other doesn't know what to do. When he's not playing can you have a rational discussion with him? "We need to have a talk about the amount of time you spend playing video games." If he's willing to have a discussion, talk about balancing time with other activities. Maybe you two could clean different rooms of your house together instead of one person doing all the work. He needs to at least be asked to do certain tasks when you're not around though too. Men sometimes can't read our minds unless we ask them to do something. It's true, they have no clue otherwise. And when he does something, be very appreciative. I still struggle with very nature of video games these days. I ask myself why it doesn't bother me when he watches TV or movies all day, but his playing video games does. I never had a problem with the old pixelated games because they weren't so addictive and so graphically violent. I hate the way video games have evolved with time. They used to be an innocent past time and now they have turned into a way of life. My bf's "hobby" of video gaming actually stresses me out with the explosions and guns that my heart beats faster when I'm around to hear it. I can't relax in my own home. I need to remember sometimes to ask him to use his headphones to play, for my sake. I have expressed how I don't like all the killing in the games, but we always end up having an argument that goes nowhere. He comes back and says, "I'm not killing real people!" And to me it's the principle of a moral guy doing immoral things in a virtual world. It just goes nowhere. These are just the things we are trying to work through before the big day!
It is an addiction! For those who believe their partner isn't cheating remember this...it is far easier to maintain a relationship online then in person. You are flawless and without responsibilies online. The person feels they are justified because other people online support them. Like any addiction they wont change until they decide to. I play Runescape or use to but, cant any longer because my husband is addicted. If you want to know what actually goes on in games play them and make friends. To bad people dont understand how damaging technology has become to society. Raise your kids with less dependency on technology and we may have a better future ahead of us. For those that are in addictive relationships...its not you it is in fact t them. Dont second guess guess yourself as a s person!
What is it about runes ape hats so addictive? Is it possible there is cheating on the game? I mean I just don't see what so fun about it and he always asks me to learn to play but it have no interest. What causes them to be so addicted to this freaking game and how can I get him to snap out of it on his own?
Omg pendragon, you can't raise your kids with less dependency on Tech when they're being forced to use it at school... Sorry - but that's just plain silly..! .. and think about it, who's got the balls big enough to tell Mum she's addicted to FB..?? I still think it's crazy cool how girls are taking a serious back seat to guy stuff... Don't worry though, girls WILL find a way of bringing an end to our new stress-free, after-work lifestyle.. They'll start playin' too..! Better make the most of that Hack now you PvP scumbags - it's Game on...! - at least until the girls get here and start dropping their emo cards and drama bombs...
Oh my God please take the blue pill and get out of the real world
Well I don't do video games but ignoring my wife is a big game any way. Married 47 years and she was the most boring when it came to sex. She refused to do any thing new or even try, she was a prude, sore nothing sexy just a religious stick in the mud. She took everything to seriously and to the extreme. I explained the way I felt and that guys like different things some times. Well I was shot down, and finally told her no to never ask me about sex because I have nothing to say to her, also I refuse to sleep with her and that I was moving to my own space. That was over 40 years ago and I'm perfectly happy the way I'm. never cheated or went out with some little cutie. I was true blue to the marriage, I don't know what she did and I really don't care.