When children lie they are simply reaching a developmental milestone
If your previously innocent, blundering toddler has morphed into a sneaky little liar, don’t sweat it. A new Canadian study links the ability to lie to an important developmental milestone. Lying is, it turns out, an integral part of healthy brain development.
The study, conducted at the Institute of Child Study at Toronto University, surveyed 1,200 children aged two to 17. The children's honesty was tested by telling them not to peek at a toy placed behind their backs while leaving the room. Their reactions were then monitored by video and the children were asked if they had turned around. Their responses were checked against the recording.
Only a fifth of 2-year-olds were able to lie. But by age 4, 90 percent were capable of lying. The rate peaked at age 12.
Dr. Kang Lee, director of the institute, said parents should not be afraid that their children are going to turn out pathological liars if they catch them in a lie. Although it is wise to instruct children that lying is not a good practice, which is part of shaping them into ethical individuals, parents should not be overly distraught by the presence of recurrent lying.
That’s because lying is an integral part of developing what psychologists call a “theory of mind.” Briefly, theory of mind is the ability to attribute mental states—beliefs, intents, desires, pretending, knowledge, etc.—to oneself and others and to understand that others have beliefs, desires and intentions that are different from one's own.