Coping with a Family Rift

We read so much about family estrangement, about mothers and fathers and their grown children who simply enter a cold war of ceased communication: Eminem and his mother, Jennifer Aniston, Kim Basinger, Jenna Malone, and their mothers, Gerard Depardieu and his son, the Reagans, whose estrangement from their children even merited prominence in the TV special about the former First Family. The list goes on and on.

While glamorous stars get into the spotlight when there's a rift in their family, the problem afflicts ordinary folk with a surprising frequency as well. There's a shocking lack of statistics available on the subject of family estrangement, but as a psychotherapist in practice for many years, it's my impression that cut-offs have become a lot more common than they used to be. I hear this from other therapists, too. I also teach family counseling to pastors of all faiths and they tell me that family rifts are an increasingly frequent problem brought to the clergy's attention.

In my own practice, I am