The Secret of Self-Esteem

• I will feel good about my self when I'm making $______(fill in the amount) a year.

• I will feel worthy when I am in a relationship with a (beautiful) (handsome) (wealthy) (loving) (fill in own) person.

• I will feel worthy when I get enough approval from enough people.

• I will feel adequate when I have a baby.

• I will feel adequate when_______( fill in desired outcome that you attach to your sense of worth).

However, there are many people who have all of the above and still do not feel a deep sense of self-esteem. That's because self-esteem has nothing to do with anything external, such as looks, approval, money, relationships with others, or having a baby.

Self-esteem, or the lack of it, is solely the result of how we treat ourselves. Those people who attend to their own feelings and needs with loving action on their own behalf feel good about themselves, while those people who ignore, invalidate, or judge their own feelings and needs feel badly about themselves.