You are on the way to the airport. You get on the plane with a book that you've been planning to read for quite some time. As you open your book you glance at the person next to you. A few minutes later the person next to you asks you a question and you reluctantly answer. You lower your book a bit to be polite and after a few minutes you find yourself putting your book down and engaging in a conversation, although with a lack of enthusiasm. And then the person next to you, let's call him John, makes an observation about you that's quite perceptive and sensitive. You start to become curious about John and who he is and in the course of the conversation he tells you of an experience he has only shared with a few people.
You let John know that you have had the same experience. By now you're totally engaged and listening to John's next words and closely watching for every nuance in the inflection of his voice and in the way he moves. Time seems to stand still and the next thing you know the plane lands. You say goodbye and go on your way. You are feeling empowered and feel that you were just with a kindred soul. The next day you receive an email from John acknowledging your greatness and you respond.
We would all love to have these experiences more often. You feel heard and everything seems possible. It is communication at its highest level but unfortunately it's a lost art.
"Too many of us have lost touch with the fire of conversation. When we talk together, it is rarely with depth. For the most part, we see our conversations as either opportunities to trade information or opportunities to win points. Difficulties that might otherwise be resolved or even dissolved persist. And often we find we simply do not have the wherewithal to genuinely consider new possibilities, new options. Such miscommunication or misunderstanding condemns us to look elsewhere for the creative intensity that lies dormant within and between us. Yet it is an intensity that could revitalize our institutions, our relationships and ourselves" Isaacs, William, "Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together," page 14.
By making "connection" a priority and necessity we can transform our communication. We must recognize that what we all want on a deeper level is the ability to connect with another, to touch each other's soul. Using the right words is a good start but until you have the intention and willingness to master the art of communication it won't happen. Communication is the gateway to a more fulfilling life and a better world. Imagine living in a world where we truly listen to each other. Listening is about caring and being in the moment and as we expand our ability to focus and be present we become more available to others. Listening is about flowing and being in the rhythm of life.
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2004 Mark Susnow inspires people to believe in themselves and achieve their goals. Formerly a 30-year trial attorney Mark's a life coach, speaker, and group facilitator. Learn more about his free ecourse "Take Charge of your Life" and subscribe to Letters On Life ezine at www.inspirepossibility.com